PhotoHunt 286: ... Waiting ...

Waiting for the green line train in the DC Metro U Street Station.

This week's PhotoHunt theme, 'Waiting', was a difficult one for me.  Though most of us spend oodles of time waiting on so many things, I couldn't really locate a photo that expressed the seemingly eternal essence of it very well.  The above shot made the cut because I've always liked the way it seems to show the movement of the trains, even though there aren't any there. (Hence, the waiting).  So, until I can manage to come up with a better way to capture it, I suppose you'll just have to ... well, wait. 

Making it to the End Game

I don't know why, but even if I have a good idea that something will turn out alright, I typically have a problem outwardly living that reality on a day-to-day basis.  I know this is due to a total disconnect between my flucuating emotional microscope, and the reality of it all, but that really doesn't make things any easier to grapple with.  Sometimes I feel like a heavy rollercoaster that tries to make it over that last big hill in order to get the momentum to spin through the fun loop-de-loops, but instead of a steady and positive movement forward, I seem to stall out somewhere in-between, and those loops seem so much farther away than they really are.

The other day, while feeling like I was in the middle of a pretty big 'life stall', I was searching for an image to accommodate last week's PhotoHunt (which had a topic of 'Digital' - not sure what I was supposed to do with that one), and instead found this.  

This shot was taken almost exactly two years ago today, and is the only photo that exists from that time period as far as I know.  It was taken while on a frantic quest for a 2nd home/apartment in the DC area to accommodate a job shift ... and then what turned out to be two job shifts, a move, a financial crisis, and a total personal meltdown.  In that one frozen instant above though, you would have never known that anything was even amiss.  I look happy, relaxed, and optimistic.  Though I remember feeling the overwhelming stress anyone would feel from any type of sudden life change, I also remember being kind of excited about it.  Things were moving so fast, and held so much possibility (even in the face of a challenge) that I had no way of knowing that I was standing at the starting line of a difficult long distance marathon instead of a short sprint.  I was nowhere even close to even seeing the end game. 


Initially, this mental stroll down memory lane churned up a lot of ugly memories, but the funny & more unexpected thing that it did was to inspire me to remember where it was that I thought I was headed at that time.  Seeing that image of myself, I can recall the ways in which I had been looking at the bigger picture, and trying to put the pieces together in the best way possible to get through to the end game. Though the costs of getting there were sorely underestimated at that time (financial, physical, and emotional), it was exciting, surprising, frantic, and everything that goes with that.  It was also necessary I suppose.


It's actually taken me a lot to rebound from the past two years, and I still feel like I'm cleaning up some loose ends from the fallout.  If someone had told me a year ago that things wouldn't be 'better' by this point I think I may have actually imploded.  Now though, I'm fortunately still in one piece, and coping with everything as it comes along - trying not to let the big things overwhelm (thank you Xanax), and taking time out to enjoy the little things.  At this point, I can actually take a look back at that photo above and begin to see the bigger picture again.  I can feel a little bit of what I was feeling there two years ago - anticipation for the next step, and excitement for the final outcome of this long journey.  I now know that the 'next step' might be more uncomfortable than I would like, and that there may be more hurdles before the final outcome.  I also know more about myself and in that, am (fingers crossed) better equipped to respond to whatever may come my way.  

I think sometimes in order to keep going forward without stalling out, you sometimes have to look back to see where you've been and how you got to where you are now.  In my case, an unexpected look back to two years ago has helped me to remember just where it was I was originally headed, and why I was (and should still be) excited about it.  For me, it seems to be exactly what I needed in order to to keep moving forward.  Given everything that has brought me to where I am now, I can only know that everything really will turn out alright.  I think I knew that in that photo two years ago, though at some point lost sight of the bigger picture in the midst of all the change.  I'm sure there will be more hills to climb and hurdles to jump regardless of time or place, and I'm sure they won't be easy or infrequent. I just hope that with practice I'll eventually continue to get better at responding to them all and keep up the momentum needed to make it to the end game.

PhotoHunt 260: Trees, and 'Audrey III', Part 2

For this week's PhotoHunt, I couldn't help but share a picture of some trees from the National Cherry Blossom Festival that happens every spring in Washington, DC at the Tidal Basin.  There are so many gorgeous blooms that it really is a spectacular site, and I highly recommend getting to at least once in your life if you can.  With the beautiful Jefferson Memorial across the water, and the trees dropping petals like spring snow in the breeze, it's at once ethereal, calming, and exciting - almost like stepping into another world.

Though not a tree (and not quite as breathtaking), I also thought I 'd take this opportunity to share with you the progress that our Lady Banks Rose,  'Audrey III' has made over the past few days.  If you're a little lost on this background story, check out my previous post here.

April 5

April 7

April 8

Looks like some birds have decided she makes for a perfect home.

Looking at all of those blooms just makes me smile.  I know it's a bit cheesy, but hopefully it will add a little smile to your day as well.  :)

PhotoHunt 258: Caged, A Spin Through the National Zoo

So you might be thinking that this isn't the epitome of this week's PhotoHunt subject, but quite honestly it was my favorite shot from one of my trips to the DC National Zoo.  If you look, you can most certainly see the cage at the top of the shot, and trust me, there was no doubt a cage was involved here -- quite a large one too.  I think what I enjoy most about this shot though, is how natural it looks; as if the lounging cheetah is almost as thankful for the cage as the people on the other side of it are. Even though the thought of a cage tends to bring to mind negative connotations, I suppose it works both ways sometimes as long as it's humane.  In this case, it doesn't look like the cheetah seems to mind a little peace and quiet, and it probably leads a pretty cushy life all things considered.

Here are some additional photos taken the same day.  In some, you can see more cage than animal - probably more appropriate for the topic, though nowhere near as beautiful.  In the last shot, you can catch a glimpse of what the District might look like behind a cage - something in which some might find a little irony.